love always

i can’t sleep, and you’re probably having a wonderful sleep.. or you’re ignoring me. or doing whatever you do best. and i just want to hear your voice and hear you say you love me. knowing that you’ve been off work since 7 this morning and haven’t called me. i want to text you and tell you all this but because i hate being the one to say i love you, or to text you first. i wont. i want to know for sure that you’re in as deep as me.

nights are really hard for me, it’s when I miss you the most, I get lonely and i start thinking about you and i cant stop, i wish we could hang out and just do nothing together thats something i miss a lot, i wish I could go to bed knowing that I’d wake up next to you every morning. I don’t sleep well without you, I have nightmares almost every night, waking up crying. I feel like my subconscious knows your presence and knows that I’m safe when I’m with you, it’s like you protect me from the darkness inside me. I can sleep all through the night when I’m with you, and I’m not up all night writing stuff like this when you’re around. I can’t stop replaying when I last said goodbye to you. You hugged me, I leaned back and you pulled me towards you again in a tight hug, then looking at you trying to be strong and say goodbye and I love you, when I see the tears pooling in your eyes and I can’t hold in it anymore, one last kiss and hug, and you’re off into the airport. Watching you stop before you enter to wipe your tears and then disappearing until the hot mid summer. I guess until then I’ll see you here every night. I love you.